I turned 25 in Bermuda and it was off the hook.  It was so cool.  I went out with all my friends and we just had such a great time hitting Front Street.  Then I went on a cruise with my husbands work and we ended up back in town and his boss bought me a whole bottle of champagne for myself, but I can’t remember where we were.  I think I was carefree back then.  I mean I had a job, lots of extra money, I lived on a paradise like island.  Life is easy in your 20’s and I remember thinking back then that at 25 I was having a quarter life crisis because I didn’t know where I was going with my life or what I was going to do.  That was a big thing for me then and it still is. 

You grow a lot when you have kids and once you have a mortgage.  But I still look in the mirror and see myself as the same.  I always wonder if that’s a constant that remains as your grow older. I mean I feel more mature, but I sometimes think I’m a grown up and it doesn’t feel like I have become my parents or anything.  Maybe because I really am trying to create a better life for my kids. My childhood with my parents was not good.  But I am changing things, for one when I was 25 I was working 14 hours a day and loved it.  Now I am with my kids and my great career in finance has been replaced with a longing to be involved in their lives and watching them grow. 

It’s my birthday in a few weeks and I am a big believer in retrospect.  I like to take a step back and think about the path I am on and where I’ve been.  I think it helps you appreciate things for what they are.  At this stage of my life it’s so much more real than 25.  Now I watch my kids grow and I think wow this is amazing, but at the same time I am watching my parents and grandparents age and that’s hard.  It’s hard to be in the middle and to be seeing both ends of life.  But I am a strong believer in faith and that is comforting and makes me feel good about the here and now.


About this entry