Adult Child of Divorce

I am the adult child of divorce.  My parents divorced when I was ten.  I only remember because I know what grade I was in.  Fourth grade was the last time I made an effort and enjoyed school as I once did.  Once fifth grade arrived I was on a downhill slide grade wise.  My whole life my parents fought and fought and fought some more.  I was usually at my grandmothers house because my mom had to work because my dad did not.  I’m not sure why my parents decided to have a child, but I didn’t really fit well into their lifestyle, so it was a relief to be at my grandparents house, no one fought there.  So when it was official my grandparents adopted me for health insurance reasons since I never had insurance prior to that.  I was excited to officially move into their home.  I had my own room for the first time in my whole life with bunk beds.  With my parents I had a pull out couch.  School was my only escape from reality and more than school books.  I loved to read.  I never gave much thought to the divorce even though as a teen I was in counseling, until I had kids of my own and tried to figure out the circumstances that would allow my parents to think solely of themselves.  I used to think my quirks and my desire for things to be a certain way was because I was a Virgo.  We are all overorganized.  Most of my friends are Virgo’s and they all have their own issues, but the more I think about it and the more I discover about myself many of my hang-ups are from being a child of divorce.  It has greatly effected my relationships and my parenting.  I wanted to blog about it to see how other people feel and relate, because people don’t really talk about it all that much.  So this month I am going to write about a few of the more promient ideas and issues I face as an adult child of divorce.  How can a parent not allow their baby or toddler to be the center of their universe?

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