So your friend/relative had a preemie….

Ways to help:

-If mom is still in the hospital bring food and chocolate and some good gossipy mags.  Having a preemie is an emotional time, so it’s nice to have a distraction, even for a few minutes

-Call the parents church for prayers.  Email people for prayers.  Prayers help in a big way.

-Bring food to the mom and dad when they come home.  Coming home without your baby is one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life. Then come back with more food once the baby is home.  Food is a great part of the healing/helping process.

-Call the preemie mom to make sure she is ok.  Force her to talk on the phone.  This was a huge thing for me.  I wanted to shut out everyone around me and wallow in self pity, but my friends and family kept me engaged.

-Buy preemie clothes and bring them to the hospital.  When my preemie was born I didn’t even know there was a preemie size and it was over a week before the nurses in the NICU told me I could bring some clothes in.  Your friend will not feel like shopping, but will greatly appreciate being able to put some cute clothes on her preemie.

-Take pics of the baby in the NICU.  If you get to visit the NICU take pics for your friend.  I didn’t see my baby for four days because I was sick.  The only way I saw her was through pics friends and my husband took on their cameras.  So your baby has tubes everywhere and is in an isolette, you need those first pics so you can show them how far they’ve come.

-Have empathy for a mom who can not hold her baby right away or for several days or weeks.  That is a very hard thing to deal with.

-Learn about the March of Dimes.  That was one of the 1st places I got info when I came home.  Donate to them, fight for preemies.

-Be excited when the baby comes home.  No matter how long it has been.  This is a big deal to the parents.

-Clean the house for the mom before she comes home.  It is such an emotional roller coaster, it’s nice to come home to a clean house.

-Buy Germ X or some other type of hand sanitizer for the parents.  Not many people stock this in their homes and it’s important to keep preemies germ free.

-Be a friend to the dad.  Dad’s take it just as hard, but don’t always show it.  He is worried about the mom and the baby.

-Encourage your friend/family member to journal or blog.  It helps so much to get your thoughts written down.

-Most of all have patience.  No one is prepared for a preemie and they need all the support they can get.


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