Contentment- Exercise & Old Reliable

So I’m working on being content and content articles and things keep popping up everywhere- as if that is not an obvious sign to me.  Before I talk about how my exercise plan to help me be content with my body and health is going let me tell you that I found out my father is going to be married 4th time to his 2nd wife again.  Yes this is odd, but maybe we always feel comfortable with what we know. Maybe we search and look to the greener grass when we don’t need to.  Or maybe people change and become who they are meant to be.  Anyway just some food for thought. 

So as far as diet, I was not feeling good.  My husband is on a diet so by default I was on a diet- no junk food in the house, nothing to snack on.  People did say I looked skinnier, but I was craving some junk food.  So I bought Oreos for my child and I, but they make me happier and I am eating all those awful salads.  I also noticed since he’s eating less, I’ve been eating more.  Am I subconsciously thinking someone needs to eat in this house?  Do I feel that bored?  Am I scared?  Who knows. 

This week I also started exercising when my oldest was in school.  I took my younger child and went to the gym to walk.  My ipod was not charged and there were some loud children so I couldn’t walk in peace.  I did walk a little bit and then since we were close to Burger King, I figured I needed some BK burger shots. Yes, not good after walking- but hey at least I was walking.  Day two of walking I decided to walk around Target and it was nice, but then I spent money.  Day three of walking again, I walked Super Walmart and spent $.  I was exercising, but spending.  So replacing one thing with another.  I get too bored when I walk, but I don’t like weights and routines.  So I will try again this week.  I did feel happier knowing I was trying to make an effort for my health.  I got some good news that my pressure is really good and I should be able to come off my meds in a few months.  Which made me happy, so that will be a push to really keep up with the exercise and healthy eating. 

After this week this is what I am thinking about contentment and my search to find it without traveling the world or changing careers or whatever else people do.  I feel like I should be doing less and enjoying more, my daily devotion was on contentment, what void am I trying to fill?  Why can’t I just be where I am?  Why am I reaching and stretching for me? So these are the questions I want to work on.  Why do I feel like I need to keep doing and doing and doing?  Why can’t I do what needs to be done and then just relax and enjoy my life?  Why do I feel guilty for enjoying things and relaxing?  Is it because I left a career to be a mother?  Do I think I need to prove myself worthy to the world?  Yes maybe some of it is.  Do I feel like I owe my family and relatives so I work really hard to make everyone happy and help make their lives easier?  Yes I do that too.  Everyone before me, because if you choose to put yourself first you feel selffish.  What am I reaching for?  Validation, praise, contentment with who I am and where I am?  I think so.


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