Content- A pursuit since the beginning of time

The more I look into contentment and trying to be content, the more I discover that people forever before us have had the same pursuit. 

Here’s a proverb at contentment: The righteous eat until their hearts content but the stomach of the wicked goes hungry. Proverbs 13:25

What does that mean to us nowadays?  To me that singles many things- my tendency to overeat, to overbuy, to have too much stuff, to worry too much.  Sometimes all that overdoing can lead to being almost sick on the stomach.  Or in this case when I don’t focus on God and focus on all the other things I am hungering for His Word and guidance.

I read something once about how you think people are thinking about you way more than they really are, people have their own issues to worry about.  I also remember something in a movie about people talking about you and how the same people can talk about you their whole lives and that won’t change, it’s you who has to be different to be a stand out.

I’m realizing that I need to know me and trust me before I can be content.  I can’t keep buying and trying and talking and doing to try to be happier, when I don’t know what I really want. 

Yesterday was my wedding anniversary and it is interesting to look back and see how much my spouse and I have grown in over a decade.  I feel more secure than I did in my twenties, but I am still searching for what makes me happy and how to find peace in the moment. 

I could make a grand old list of what doesn’t work.  Maybe I do need to do more for others and think about me less.  It’s hard to do that with small children though.  Maybe as my children grow and I have more me time, I’ll be able to find myself again.  As any mom can attest being a mom is a super demanding but rewarding job.  But you do get exhausted and for once this weekend my husband finally saw and agreed that it is tiring, and that meant the world to me.  Because sometimes I feel like I want too much for myself by hoping for some quiet time to read and reflect before I go to bed at night, and most nights just falling asleep. 

This week, I am trying to not jump from one thing to another so quickly and I am also hoping that if we get more snow, that I can enjoy it and not just think about being stuck inside and shoveling.  Peaceful moments- my focus this week.


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