my mother is ill


So I found out a few weeks ago my mom has cancer.  I found out last week that it has not spread.  She is meeting her surgeon today and will then find out about the next steps in her treatment.  I’ve shared this info with the ladies in my womens group and a few other people and the support has been great.  I feel so uneducated though, because with many other illnesses- thyroid, pre-eclampsia, diabetes, pacemakers I know the info you need to know.  I probably know too much.  But with cancer I don’t know.  I don’t know what makes one cancer different from another, I don’t know treatments or outlooks and there is so much info online it’s overwhelming.  So I am relying on the people in my life, my support system to tell me things.  Because the dialogue from my mother to me has increased about 20% since she found out, but it’s still very basic- I had a cat scan, the doctor said it hasn’t spread.  End of story. I try to ask how she got or what it comes from or if anyone else in the family has it, but nothing, she doesn’t talk about it.  Kind of stares at me or changes the subject.  It’s the tough German shell.  Everyone who knows me, knows I get my personality and my habit of over-caring (if there is such a thing) and over-talking from my father’s side of the family.  Still I want to be supportive.  I’ve been thinking about it all day long some days and I wonder is my mom thinking about it or does she hear it, process it and then just accept it?  Maybe someday she’ll talk more maybe not, but I’ll be supportive either way.

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