Facebook Stalk n Sulk

So I go into the shower like most people to relax, have some free moments to myself, to think, just drift away and pretend I’m in some fabulous spa.  But of course my brain just never stops thinking and dwelling.  Tonight I was stuck on facebook jealousy.  Is that a term yet?  It should be. 

Like all people when I was in high school, I kept thinking let me out of this small town, show me the world, let me travel and be fabulous and awesome and maybe I’ll come home for Thanksgiving.  Well I wasn’t fabulous but I did leave my small town.  I moved abroad, had an awesome job and did come home for Thanksgiving.  Life was good.  Money was good. I was doing some great things not possible in my hometown.  But then my grandparents were aging and I felt a tug to go back.  They needed me and I needed them. 

The whole time I was away I stayed tight with my two best friends from high school.  One of them came overseas to visit me alot, we all traveled together, we hung out when I came home.  Things were good.  I was interesting. 

We moved back. My friends also moved back to the area. We all had kids.  We didn’t socialize all that much in our town or do kids activities in our town, so I would hardly ever see people from school. 

Then came Facebook.  Wow I could use facebook to look at pictures from people I used to work with abroad, to see my husbands relatives in all sorts of other countries.  My two closest friends here were all no facebook, what is it for.  Then all of a sudden a year or two passed and the whole world was on facebook, so they jumped on the wagon. It is at this time I should explain I am a Virgo.  I am not one of those people who will meet you and become your BFF. I am very protective of my friends and I also really value trust.  So it is not uncommon for my friends to tell their friends when they meet me that I might seem “stand offish” or “pull odd faces”.  Whatever, but I also need to explain I talked to everyone in school.  I was friendly, my friends not as outgoing. 

So it baffles me to see the number of people from high school that my friends are friends with and the friends from school that those friends are friends with.  I mean really it seems like the whole school/class/town friended each other.  But not me.  I just can’t see the point in sharing pictures and thoughts and funny happenings with people who I haven’t seen in decades and who I have nothing in common with other than a place of living during my teen years.  I would rather tweet to random strangers than friend someone just on the basis that I may have passed them in the hall twenty years ago.  I don’t get it. 

But the real reason I am getting this off my chest is that I also am intrigued  by what these other people are doing.  Where do they live, do they have kids, jobs, what school did they go to for college. Are they doing better than me?  Oh look pictures, how is the color scheme for their rooms, wow what a nice shot at the beach- don’t tell me you don’t gawk at other people lives on facebook.  Facebook has added to that awful list of things people don’t like-college magazines, telling you who gave what and what they do.  The only reason they print those is to guilt you into giving more than a classmate or to give at all so you get your name in the book. 

Now back in my live away, career minded life I would not have cared.  But when you live in your hometown and don’t have a career and drive your kids around and plant a garden, that’s not too exotic sounding. So after I search through profiles to see how people are living, I get sad.  I question my choices in life.  I wonder if I should be doing something different, living somewhere great, whatever.  Then I sulk about it.  I really get mad at facebook, I get mad at myself for caring so much.  I also think what kind of people are that in need of a connection that they friend basic strangers and then post amazing things about their amazing lives?  No ones life is that great all the time.  My husband thinks it’s odd.  He just friends anyone and probably never even reads profiles or looks at pics, he’s in it for the mafia wars.  So that is what I call the facebook stalk and sulk and I am sure I am not the only one out there doing so 🙂


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