Mama is not perfect

I don’t know about other moms, but having one child made me feel like some sort of a pro.  Like I can do this. My child is behaved is public, when going to eat at a restaurant, he’s polite, no tantrums and we get along pretty well.  Potty training went well, he liked school and I really thought wow I can see how Mrs Duggar or Kate can handle all those kids, I probably could too.  You would think I would have learned this far in life never to brag, even when just thinking to yourself. 

Enter baby number two.  My preemie, my delicate baby.  The one I overprotected and worried about for the first 9 months of her life.  Once we realized she was doing well for a preemie,I could breathe.  Back to my plan of having two kind of behaved kids.  But somehow in my blissful mind that allows moms to forget those sleepless nights in the begining, I also forgot terrible twos. 

I have become the giving in mom.  Giving in to snacks before dinner or for dinner.  Giving in to later bedtime, giving in to one little treat at the grocery store- just to avoid meltdowns and conflict and now it’s backfired.

I took my toddler to a class today which I thought she’d enjoy and instead she clung to me the whole time.  Then we went to the playground and I tried to get her to walk by herself and again she freaked out until I carried her. My older child is not any different.  He’s realized that if he bugs me enough I usually give in.  I was so upset today so I sent my husband an email and he sends me an email back that says the kids are spoiled, here are some good articles to work on changing their habits.  Are you kidding me?  I mean it’s summer and we are more relaxed, but I am making every effort to make sure my kids have experiences and memories and time to play and create and be kids.  I teach them about loving others and giving and serving and they aren’t always self centered.  He forgets that we are in a heat wave and they are playing inside most days and getting cabin fever. 

I just hate how his one sentence can make the last almost 6 years of my life seem like I’ve been slacking off.  I’m not perfect but no one is. Mothering does not come with a manual but as long as you have a heart and lots of love, I think it all works out. 

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