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It is amazing how my plan for the year is falling out at the right time.  This month I am looking into my materialistic side and desires.  And this just happens to be the 1st week of the month and the 1st time I have really admitted to myself that my debt is out of control. I mean I am scraping the bottom of accounts to pay for day to day expenses and I am getting overdraft fees, which are not cheap.  I have lost control of my finances.  But how did this happen?  It didn’t happen overnight, it’s been a few years of some really bad spending choices.  It’s been my lifelong insatiable desire to have things and have them right away.  It’s been me being bored or wanting to get out of the house with the kids and going to the grocery store or Target or the craft store and buying too much, or actually a few things here and there and not thinking of it adding up.  It’s been me being Jeff Bezo’s best customer on Amazon. 

The crazy thing is that at the begining of the year we were doing cash only so I could pay down debt and things were going well, but then that strange desire to fill a void, or kill time, or do something social with friends kicks in and out goes savings plans.

There is also this mentality that I deserve it.  My husband has a nice job and we both used to be professionals and made really good money, so I think oh well we need this quick stop at Wegman’s because my husband works hard and as a family we should be able to buy these things.  Hey that would be all and good, except you can’t think that way when debt is creeping up on you.  So now what?  How will I change my spending and thinking and feelings so I can dig the family out of this hole?

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