Jittery for start of school


I just finished labeling my oldest childs bookbag, snack bag, art smock and packing a snack and some extra pencils. I clipped the bus note onto the bag.  Now I am sitting here with mixed feelings.  Mixed because we are starting a new chapter- school.  Learning, books, friends, being more independant.  But sad because my close little buddy will be at school now and not with me.

This morning we were sharpening pencils and he pushed me away and said I can do this.  When did my child learn to sharpen pencils?  I don’t know if I am going to cry at the bus, or after he leaves for school.

It’s been an incredible life changing journey so far.  I was not ever planning on having kids.  I was very career driven and my husband and I weren’t even sure what country we wanted to live in.  Then a small miracle set in motion something that will forever alter my life.  I was scared when I found out I was preggers with him.  I was also in shock.  My life did a 180, I wasn’t ready to be a mom, I didn’t even know anything about mothering.  I was never one of those girls who said oh I can’t wait to have kids, I want 4.  But as the months passed I got excited, then I found out he was a he.  We named him and waited.  He was late- 11 days to be exact and I was not sure I ever wanted to face labour or 3 hours of pushing again in my life.  (but I did)

Then the strangest thing happened, after months of being monitored and cared for by a doctor, they sent my husband and I home with this baby.  We didn’t know the slightest thing.  To say we were scared and thrilled would be an understatement.  Luckily I was more than happy to hold and snuggle and feed my new child and my husband fell into what I know think of as the role of someone who was born to father.  He has done and still does more than most fathers and he loves it and the kids love him for it and so do I. 

So the years past, and we had train rides, vacations, first zoo trips, first dog, Sunday School, preschool,baptism, holidays, tae kwon do, skiing, swimming, soccer, lots of toys, way too much time with Thomas the train, disney channel, trucks, Jonas Brothers concert, first stitches, many hugs, only two instances of vomit(Amen to that, I know people who have pukers) and lots of love and now I have a school age kid.

Who would have known that one day I would hang up my role in the world of finance to find myself in the world of researching ways to teach reading and creative play, picking vacations to places swarming with kids, who would have known that something unknown would lead me down a path of love and fun and happiness.

Why do we moms get up each day knowing that it will be cleaning, laundry, toys picked up, stop squabbling, cooking, cuddling, reading, baths, more laundry, stepping on lincoln logs, finding matchboxes in our shoes, late night fevers and it will go on and on and on day in and day out and why do we do it?  Because we love and that’s all a mom can do.

This is for the moms 30 minute blog challenge at steadymom http://www.steadymom.com/moms-30minute-blog-challenge.html

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