Rejection


Rejection stinks.  Some people can just let it roll right off of them, but others like me sulk, fell awful, question themselves and wallow in self pity.

My parents divorced when I was in elementary school.  They never rejected me outright, but by choosing themselves and their personal agendas over raising me they chose rejection.  Without knowing it they set me up to develop a hard wary shell for every person I’ve met since.  My close friends are all people I have known for over a decade, some almost two.  I don’t let down my guard and I don’t set myself up to be disappointed by a potential friend.  I am still to this day trying to make sure my family is all happy, my kids, my parents, grandparents, spouse, friends, co-workers, neighbors- you name it because I don’t want to be rejected.

There are other sorts college rejection letters, not getting the job, being jilted at the alter, not being invited to the party, not fitting in with the rest of the neighbors, being looked down on by others because of your social status, not making the team,etc.  There seems to always be some part of life where someone else can say hey you are not good enough we don’t want you.

As an adult you can sort of get over it as a child it is devasting.  When my child came off the school bus and told me his longest friend since pre-k didn’t want him as a friend.  My heart literally shattered for him.  He was beyond devastated.  Why couldn’t I have been there on the bus to protect, to stop the other child from introducing my child to this horrible part of life so early on? I know it’s part of life, but what makes one kid say that to another at such an early age for no reason, they aren’t even in the same class? How can I tell my son that he is good enough, he is a nice person, he cares about others, he’s friendly and this kids opinion doesn’t mean squat?  I can try but his heart still hurts.  How can I convince my child I am not angry or sad or hurt but am really strong, when inside I am shaking and I am laying awake at night wondering how I can fix this hurt in is little heart? I try to raise my kids to not judge and not make statements that can hurt others.  I try to bring only positive things to others and want them to do so also, but then you let your child out into the world and someone squashes that because they don’t have that concept in their family.  I really think when Nick Carroway said in the Great Gatsby “Whenever you feel like criticizing someone, just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had all of the advantages you’ve had.”

So I remember that not all children come from loving caring homes and maybe my child needed to go through this because this other child needed to vent, it’s not fair and it’s not right but at the end of the day my children know we love them and we want them to repsect and treat others like they would want to be treated and sometimes that’s a hard lesson to learn.

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