Mama Mama where’s the clutter


I was just going through my recipes.  Trying to add some excitement to my dinner menu in the event that it might actually cool down and become fall.  And then I was hit with a thought- I need to periodically clean my recipes, D’oh how could I have never thought of that.  So then I went and made a note in my master calendar.  Then I thought of how overly organized and anal I must seem to the world at large- or mainly my family and close friends.

So I let my mind wander and I tried to think of why I am like this.  I come from a grandmother who is a clean freak but not super duper organized.  My mom keeps a calendar and always has but is not super neat.  So how did I wake up one day and become the most overly organized person I know (and yes a lot of it is because I am a Virgo but there are other Virgo’s I know who are not this bad)?

I recently labeled my shelves in my closet.  My husband was laughing because he wanted to know if I really would not recognize that a sweater was a sweater, but I told him it wasn’t for that purpose.  Since becoming a mom, my clothes have um well become mom-ish.  I have sweats and capris and old tees for cleaning, running errands and just being at home.  Well a few months ago I noticed these items were slipping into my wardrobe way too much, so I made piles and organized them, so at home clothes stay at home and don’t even make it to the bus stop.  My husband on the other hand has a black hole for his closet and as many times as I’ve tried to organize his, he doesn’t keep it up, so thank goodness we have totally seperate closets.

Back to my thoughts on where this behavior comes from.  I will be the first to admit, I like be put together and organized so people don’t think of me as scatterbrained, messy, etc.  I know having my home organized does not even come close to that but that’s how I am.  I also know growing up when I still lived with my parents it was chaos.  Their apartment was a mess.  They never cleaned anything out and things were in piles. It wasn’t hoarding because we didn’t have a lot, they were just lazy and self consumed.  I guess even as a child you learn and associate that with negativity.  So when I moved to my grandmothers it was pure heaven.  Everything was clean and she cleaned like crazy.  I remember teachers would comment on how nice I kept my stuff at school and I probably appreciated that. Because in my world of choas if I could manage to keep one or two little pieces from going bad and being messy I tried. It gave me comfort and balance.  I think that’s why I am still organized.  I like to think in one little way there is something I can handle and that makes me happy.  There is not much we can really control and grasp, so labeling things and having a home for everything are just one little way to self comfort.

So when people wonder how I can keep on top of stuff and have stuff organized and think it is amazing, I wish I could tell them, this is years of living in turmoil and trying to have something steady to hold on to.   Not just me being anal about where jeans go in the closet.

This was part of the steady moms 30 minute blog challenge at http://www.steadymom.com/2010/09/are-you-an-introverted-mom-moms-30-minute-blog-challenge.html

Advertisements

About this entry