NaNoWriMo Day 4

I lost my mother and father.  In the blink of an eye, mama was gone.  Papa had died several years earlier of illness.  Which left mama to care for me my three brothers and two sisters and our grandparents.  Now it was just me, grandma, and one brother left.  We did not know how we would make it.  I did not want to be the sole caregiver and provider for two other people, I am only twelve years old.  But how could I leave my grandmother and brother?  Grandmother was blind in one eye and could barely move.  My brother was a toddler.  So I would get up each day and try to get some of the rationed food that was set out for us.  Most days I would feed grandma and my brother and could not feel like eating.  This was hard.  I wanted to be a teacher like the kind teacher I had met earlier this year.  I loved school.  School was a place where I could escape the sadness of home.  Now we don’t have school either.  So I come and I walk along the beach.  A kind woman who lost her children and husband sits with grandma and brother and watches over them when I wander.  She warns me to be careful, that I should not wander, that it is not safe.  But I think what does it matter.  I have lost everything.  Many days now I have been watching this lady also wander the beach.  I think about why someone has not told her it is not safe.  But then I can see that for some reason she has the deep sadness that I feel.  There is nowhere to go when you are this sad.  There is no one to help.


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