the difference of a moment


So have I been living in the moment? I think I have.  I have stopped reading emails and feeds all day long, I have stopped being dictated directly by my calendar.  I am listening and truly taking in what I am hearing and not thinking of 100 other things.  I am looking at the beauty of a few snowflakes, the wind blowing, the cats playing, my children taking the world in.  Maybe it’s the time of year, many people are hurrying and speeding things up and I am slowing things down and relaxing, trying to find more peace and joy.

Tonight my child was upset because no one ever calls on him in class to help with the calendar.  How that breaks your heart for your kid to tell you he is being left out.  I knew it was bothering him because I had a meeting and when I came home, he kind of came up to me all sad and told me.  My child loves school, he loves learning and he is just a real excited for anything kind of kid, but he is also very sensitive.  So that tears at my heart.  I mean who knows, maybe it is something that just happened this one day, but now here is a tiny memory chiseled in his heart, that only happened for a few moments, but he is questioning why.  When your kids are babies you worry so much, how they are sleeping, eating, breathing, what about shots, are they too cold/too warm.  What about fevers? I mean it seems there is always something else to worry about.  You think it will never end, but there is nothing like the feeling of watching your child feel left out, or hurt.  It hurts you and you can talk and console them, but it’s hard to heal a sad heart. These are some of the moments you don’t know how to handle.

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