I remember Christmas

Christmas memories have been pouring in like crazy.  I guess it’s that time of year when you think about good & not so good memories.  I saw a pregnant person and I remembered both times I was pregnant for Christmas.  With my first I was huge, and uncomfortable and ready to deliver and have a Christmas baby, but I had to wait almost a month after.  With my second I was sick, I was only a little over a month, but I had such morning, noon & night sickness.

I was a little down, because all of my good friends were having big Christmas to do’s with the family.  Where moms planned and they attended.  In my family I am the planner, not because I want to, but because no one else does.  My family is sort of dependent on me to solve and lead things, it’s been that way since I was younger and my parents were divorcing and always fighting.  I was sad to think we don’t really have many traditions, but then my friends parents invited us over for Christmas eve and that was so nice.  The next day, my hubby made some dinner and we carted it to my grandparents house and yes I am very blessed that I was able to joke with my grandfather & play trivial pursuit with my grandmother. So we do have some traditions 🙂

I’ve had the tradition of church since I was about 12 or so.  Back then I would go with my stepmother and I had a great velvet dress one Christmas eve which I wanted my whole young life.  I would also help her at her hair salon during the day and make tips for rinsing hair and cleaning up towels and sweeping up hair, to a 12 year old tips were awesome.  Later on I would attend midnight mass with my best friend several years in a row, in her quaint old church and come out to a new day- Christmas day and feel such a great peace.  Then I would go to Christmas service with my husband and years later there would be a baby in my tummy, my first baby and he would kick and move like crazy when he heard the church organ.  He loved it.  And nowadays the child loves to dance and he has rhythm.  This year it was a whole new tradtion Christmas Eve with my other best friend and her family at this great church where her cousins husband is the pastor.  Just a perfect fellowship and great service. 

If I think and take notice I do have traditions.  They do have love and warmth, they may not be big gatherings, or gathering planned by mom, but they are gatherings.  A friend posted something on facebook this week, when your tradition is no longer, change it, make your own traditions, how cool is that?  My kids are taking in all of this and making this their traditions and their memories.

I am thankful that my dad stopped drinking.  Several years ago, he changed his life and became a new person.  We are so blessed.  I remember many Christmases where dad was late or didn’t show, or came home and went to bed.  This year I nearly cried because my daddy called and left a message for my kids to tell them Santa was on his way, as soon as they went to bed, he would be here and bring them gifts. This was a huge moment for me.

I see the excitement in my son that I once felt.  Remember going to bed the night before Christmas even when you got older and understood more, it was still so magical.  You went to bed and woke up and there was magic.  I mean it was the only time in my life when things seemed like magic.  I can close my eyes and see my room one Christmas eve, I can feel the glow and remember the coziness of the sheets on that cool night, I was maybe 12 or 13 and I just remember thinking this is it, this is amazing, my life is great and my family is good and Christmas rocks and I wish we could have this feeling all the time. 

I’ve written many posts about the lovely English Christmas’ that my in-laws provided in Bermuda.  Such charm and that was such a great tradition.  I felt like part of a big celebration, English people really know how to do Christmas.  This year I thanked them for those memories via email.  I felt kind of silly, but then I figured what the heck, let people know how much they mean to you and what they’ve done for you.

Then I can’t go on about Christmas memories without mentioning how today we can wish people Merry Christmas on Facebook, we can share photos instantly & we can Skype those we don’t see very often.  It brings you close but it can make you remember the distance.

What are some of your great Christmas feelings & memories?


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