Univ of Me

I am going to be honest.  I am the mom who lives vicariously through my kids. I don’t think I am a heli-copter parent, since I don’t swoop in and do things for them or try to fix everything for them, but I have goals and plans for them, that may or may not be want they want.

Growing up no one I knew went to college.  When I was younger for some time I wanted to be a grocery store clerk (back when you had to enter each price, the cash register seemed so cool), then a teacher, than a vet (until I learned they gave pets shots).  But no one ever said be this or be that.  I don’t think anyone had plans for me.  I was lucky to have passed each grade,let alone graduate with my upbringing.  But I did, I went to college, and then grad school and I have always pushed myself.  Pushed myself to get past whatever obstacle, to have what others had, to be someone.  My husband on the other hand, had a grand life, private schools, professional parents and knew he wanted to be in finance.  I am always telling him if I had his advantages I would have been a doctor, but he’s squimish and doesn’t like blood.

So since I knew I was having a child, I have hoped that my son would be a doctor, professor or pastor and that my daughter would be a surgeon.  I know it’s really bad to be planning on their colleges and majors and future jobs, but I just don’t want my kids to think that they can get a degree in say poetry and then make a decent living.  Not there is anything wrong with poets, but my husband used to be in charge of lots of young people out of college who either thought they’d get out of college and make $80,o00 the first year, in basic back office work or who could not move out of their parents houses after school because when making an average starting salary there is not an easy way to pay off students loans from a four year college, especially if it’s a private college.

So when I think or talk to them about college options and careers, I try not to lean into my ideas too much.  But I want so much for them, I want them to do more than I did.  I want them to be academically ahead and challenged and always learning.  I am slightly jealous that my husband went to boarding school and had that great start.  I would have loved that opportunity, I didn’t even know there was such a thing when I was growing up.

But all the advice I have been given is to give them room and freedom to be unique and to be happy and to be themselves, easier said than done 🙂


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