Made me think

I was watching Grey’s Anatomy and it was the episode where Callie heard the baby’s heart beat.  It made me think of the first time I heard my first child’s heart beat.  It was surreal.  I hope that is a memory that will stay with me forever.  I am a romantic and I love The Notebook, so I’ve been thinking about trying to type out my memories.

My first child was a surprise. We’d been married 7 years and really had never thought about kids and when the doctor told me I think I would have been less shocked if she said a piano was growing out of the back of my head.

I told my best friends first, then my family, then my job at three months.  My mom was like oh ok, but I later found out she was so happy and so in shock she had no idea what to say (typical German), so instead she stood by her kitchen sink and cried tears of joy.

The first one you are so nervous.  We found out he was a he and were over the moon. I was so sick.  I got sick from still water and had to drink sparkling water, I was sick non-stop for about a month, round the clock, at home at work.  I actually lost some weight and then I was okay.  Except for the olives incident.  I was craving olives, so I ate a small jar, well the baby didn’t like olives because I ended up getting really sick and could not eat olives until well after baby #2 was born.

Eventually I was as big as a house, and developed gestational diabetes.  That was and still is the only time in my life when I was able to follow a diet and lose some weight.  That brought it all home to know it’s not me anymore, there is a little someone else growing inside me and I want to do all I can to make sure he’s ok.

I had a surprise baby shower from my best friends and I was overwhelmed with stuff. You never know how much stuff is in life until you have a baby.  How one little person needs all that stuff I still can’t quite figure out.

I was scared, excited, happy, sad, lonely, overwhelmed, full of love, dreaming, bursting, longing and every other emotion under the sun rolled into one.



About this entry