Have I changed my habits….

So at a review of our debt at year end last year, my husband told me that instead of it going down it went up from Oct to Jan- ok hello, husband dear that’s called the holidays and we do have kids.  Now before all the hard core debt deleters out there freak out and say oh don’t buy gifts when you have debt and don’t have cable, I mean really, how could I do that or explain that to my kids on Christmas morning.

First things first, we have a good income.  My husband has a good job and it’s not like we aren’t able to eat or anything, it’s just that as soon as I get some extra cash, I found things to buy instead of things to pay off.  I was embarrassed when the hubs said my friends husband said our freezer looked like someone had a food hoarding problem, a day after my friend said the same thing.  Yes, I like to buy food.  So now my husband has challenged me to cook from the pantry and freezer for a few weeks and of course, I’ll be able to- not too much challenge, but I like buying a variety of things to choose from when cooking.  My grandmother never had food growing up, so my over abundance of freezer items, is from her influence when I lived there.  It’s like I am storing up for a rainy day.

So back to the debt. I did pay some off after income taxes and bonuses but I also bought stuff.  I am reading the Millionaire Next Door right now and I can see over and over the mistakes we make.  But I just can’t see long term, I have never been with “safety money” or long term funds, where my husband grew up like that so to me, having a retirement plan is cool and in the meantime, I don’t have the desire for extra homes or wealth funds.

Last weekend I went away for a girls weekend and I was under on the budget, meaning I had more trip than money, so I took the credit card that I had paid down in the beginning of the year and had to use it a bit.  It was so nice though to be away with my friends and to be enjoying myself, that was the first time we did that in several years, since my kids were born.

One of my downfalls is catalogs, magazines and websites.  I love to shop from home.  I am not a go to the mall and spend kind of person.  I am a web shopper and it’s just so easy to fill your “shopping cart” and not worry, especially on amazon- swoon, I love amazon and have been hooked ever since I lived overseas and amazon was my life line to things from home.

On the good side, I was down 7 pounds on my diet.  I know I haven’t been speaking to my diet that much recently.  But I started again and I was doing good. I snacked a bit recently but other than that, I feel like I am doing good.  I think when I am not bored, or worried than I am better at eating and not shopping, but most of my time is spent in the bored/worried category so that’s where my mess ups occur.

It’s just that my husband and I are on two different pages with paying off debt and saving and creating wealth. Plus he doesn’t really know how much things cost-kids clothes, groceries, utilities, things like that.  At least we communicate and are trying to get on the same page.

So my struggle will never be the all or nothing like some blogs.  My actions will never be the paid off a gazillion dollars in 2 years by eating beans and rice and reading  by candle light.  I am just a regular mom, who had some messed up relationship  with money or lack of when growing up, who married someone who comes from a wealth like I’ve never known.  I am the person who doesn’t want debt, but also won’t say no to going away for the weekend with friends.  I am the person who can share my debt with my friends and one is in my boat and one is not and that feels nice to have a kindred spirit.  So that’s it.  That’s my update, I wish I could say it was fabulous and moving ahead, but it’s not.  It’s still me versus my benjamin’s and I’m still going overboard buying at the olive bar at the Giant- but hey I had a really good lunch.


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