More excuses

One of these days I’ll have a good post on my debt, but not this one.  Life has been stressful for me in May.  Loss of my grandparents & I am still sitting around waiting for my grandmother to call or I want to call to tell her something and then I realize that’s not going to happen.  So here are my notes for the past few weeks:

It’s funny I look back and I remember when life was normal at the beginning of this period, right after Easter. Now my life is forever changed.  That fast.

-next 2 weeks going to do pantry/freezer cooking- where I will try to use up what we have instead of buying new since we have a pretty full pantry and freezer
-bought more on sale easter candy- now bad for diet and debt
-went over $19 on grocery budget, which is good for me
-spent $60 on pants from old navy- not budgeted for, b/c diet is not working as I wish it was
-used paypal to buy a hat for my brother b/c lil jon designed it and my brother doesn’t have a job and he’s been very helpful w/taking care of my grandparents and helping to watch my kids when I’m in a bind
-went on vacation for the night, got bad news about my grandfathers health and went out and spent way too much money on drinks and bought too many things in the little shops- guilt of being out of the state when my grandfather took a turn for the worse and knowing I spend way too much money anyway
-my grandparents are both really bad health wise, spending days visiting and sitting with them, don’t feel like cooking, and today had to buy snacks and drinks for the family as they sit and wait
-grandfather passed and don’t feel like cooking or doing anything so we’ve been going out to get most of our meals
-spent more money on food out, can’t stop life still seems surreal
-sent $300 on flowers memorial service, no extra money, nothing to pay back,spend way too much all the time- out of control, but was talking to my friend and she is kind of in the same boat (not saying that makes it ok, but it feels good to commesorate)
-went over 33 on groceries really have no idea how I am going to balance the end of this month until the next
-moved money to cover expenses for garage project and I’m trying to stretch it out to pay some bills, in the mean time- I hate this
-finally told hubby how overwhelming it is to stay on top of these out of pocket medical costs and also the rising cost of heating oil, which we use to run our water heater, so we need oil year round
-trying to do this months cash flow and just not making it, been working on it for hours as usual and things are not matching up

Another breath holding month, one of these days I’ll get it together, but nothing still feels real


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