Master Class

I’ve been watching Oprah since she started.  I grew up on Oprah.  Towards the end I’ve been more drawn to her magazine, but still watched from time to time.  But then she launched OWN and the show Master Class.  I’ve watched Condeelza Rice, Jay Z and Oprah herself.  I have learned so much.  She has topped herself.  I feel like I just took a breath.  My life has been living for others for so long and keeping everything in line.  I wake up and live by my datebook and to do list.  Nothing excites me and it has all become one day after another and a goal just to cross off my to do items.  But tonight she was speaking about when she worked her way through prayer about the Color Purple and she had finally got to a part where she was able to accept that she may not have the part, and all this happened in a prayer.  Then she got a call & she got the part, after she let go and thanked God for the experience and thought she was not going to get it.  It just hit me, I sit here and I think oh let me do this and let me do that, but let it all be planned and accounted for.  I never let go, I never dream big or pray big and I never walk through prayer and thankfulness.  I just do what I think is within my control.  I won’t ever get to be creative living this way.  I can’t grow and produce and write by sitting in my little controlled world.  I don’t expand or thank God enough.  She also concluded about finding your calling.  My main calling is being a mom.  I’m trying to enjoy the moments and make memories for me and my kids- memories being together & reading together & creating together & playing together.  I also keep thinking I need to do more, be more, prove something to someone when my kids are in school.  I feel like I need to get another Master’s degree in another field, but then I was just really letting Oprah’s words sink in and I was thinking wow, you know what I enjoy helping in children’s ministry at church.  I enjoy organizing and being involved, doing crafts, teaching and listening.  Why can’t that be enough?  That is a gift from God, like my children.  I don’t need to impress anyone or excel at everything, I don’t need massive amounts of wealth.  I just need to be thankful for my gifts.  When I shut off the nagging voice telling me to be perfect, do more, impress someone, do what society expects, it lets me just think I need to follow my heart and go where I am called.  Thank you Oprah, it’s like a weight has been lifted and it’s like the fog has been moved from my brain.  Things can be ok,just say thank you.


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