A case of the nerves


As part of my record of recording my pregnancy’s for my kids here is my post on nerves.  You know I actually had a journal for pregnancy one, but decided everything I wrote was kind of stupid, so I shredded it- yes, that’s why one should never read their journals withing five years of writing them. But anyway here we go:

Baby #1 I was so nervous.  I wasn’t ready to be a mom.  I wasn’t ready for a hospital and all the scary needles.  I wasn’t ready to be sick all the time in the first trimester (which by the way happened for baby #2 also), the only time in my life when I was easily able to shed some weight. I was scared when I had gestational diabetes with #1 and scared when I delivered early and had pre-eclampsia and HELLP with #2.  Everything about pregnancy made me nervous, except the awesome sleep you get in the 1st and 2nd trimester- that rocked.  I was also afraid I’d crave mayo (my arch enemy) but that never happened.  I did crave olives and pickles and plain chips dipped in pickle juice and steak sandwiches and steaks and hoagies and oreos and milk with #1.  #2 I craved sausage breakfast sandwiches, raspberries, tomatoes and dr pepper and yes I drank the full sugar, full caffeine dr p, because somedays it was the only thing I could keep down and I limited myself to one a day for a few weeks-not the end of the world.

When I made the big announcements.  #1, my mom was like oh ok.  I later learned she was stunned and cried with happiness.  My dad thought it was my brother who was maybe 15 or 16 at the time, and then when my brother assured him that he was going to be a grandpa, but it was me and not my brother, he got excited and drove to my work, but I wasn’t there that day- he must have been so excited he couldn’t remember to maybe just call me.  My grandmother was super excited she loved babies.  My friends were floored, never in a million years did they expect it and then of course I was the 1st one preggers so soon they were all excited to be parents to be too, which is cool.  My in laws- I don’t even know what they said or thought, I really think my husband just emailed them.  Baby #2 everyone was excited again, this time the reactions were just as good, but not so shocked. Although when we found out it was a girl, everyone was excited.  Same for #1 being a boy.  We also waited 3 months each time to tell our families, in case anything would have happpened, but I told my girlfriends right away.

Nerves before being induced with #1.  Baby #1 was 11 days late, I was huge.  I missed the New Year’s Eve baby contest, I was certain I was going to have that in the bag.  My doctor finally decided to induce.  So after stopped a really good Oprah 45 mins into it (before DVR mind you, we only got DVR because we thought we could freeze Lost and discover “clues”), we went to the hospital.  SO I went to registration and stated I was there to have a baby.  The lady looks at me and says how do you know you are having a baby today.  Other than being extremely large and having no patience, I told her I was 11 days late and the doctor was expecting me to get the show on the road and yes, it was kind of obvious that I was very pregnant.  I was so scared about induction and my iv and the lack of no food- I was more pissed about that.  I decided at one point I was super scared and needed to just leave and have my grandmother deliver the baby at home, which is something my family did- ran to her when we had a medical issue, like when my dad’s friend accidentally shot him, he went to my grandmother instead of the hospital and almost bled to death.  Well my husband said no stay here and have this kid.  26 hours later I welcomed #1 into the world.

When #2 was on her way and I was about to be moved to a hospital with a level III NICU, I called my grandmother and asked her to come get me again.  I couldn’t reach my husband, I was scared silly, I called my best friend and screamed and cried.  I just wanted my grandmother there but she was not so good at walking and that scared me to be so far away from her when I was this weak and worried.  Things went well and the next day I had a new baby.

Baby #1 was greeted by my dad, brother, aunt, grandmother, 2 best friends and their spouses in the middle of the night in a snowstorm and my dad was back again the next morning at 8am to hold him, because he was so proud.  My mom “couldn’t come” until the next day b/c she had to work, even though the hospital opened before her work for maternity hours, that made me mad.

Baby #2 was in the city, so she was greeted by my two best friends again, and this time her big brother, my best friends kids & my aunt.  I was so touched so many people came from far away.  Later on my grandfather came with my husband and sat with me for a whole afternoon while they monitored my pressure, b/c it just would not go down.  That meant so much to me and I missed my grandmother since I couldn’t call out.  Neither one of my parents came to see her, since it was “too far away”.  Whatever. And you know what there were no surprises there.

So that’s the story.  Kind of exciting.  Big changes, ups and downs.

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