On the day that you were born


I’ve been irked for quite a few years by the fact that my mother likes to come and sit at my house and play with my kids and her strange husband takes pictures which they show to everyone, to show what the grandkids are doing.  And by pictures I mean they take like a roll each time they come, because they are like the only people on Earth without a digital camera.  But anyway, besides the obvious part of how they just sit here and stick themselves in our weekends, which is the only time we are all together as a family, I am still upset because my mother never came to see my kids when they were first born.  On the night my son was born, it was 9pm, it was snowing and so by the time my husband called everyone it was after 10pm that they all got there.  By they all I mean my grandmother who was using a walker, my aunt, my dad, my brother and my 2 best friends and their husbands.   I was so out of it from all the meds I got for pain, but I was excited that they all came out on a cold winters night. The next morning at 8am my dad was back again, and then my aunt and her friend and her friends daughter, my husband and people were calling and sending flowers.  My mother came the next day- after dinner at like 6:30 and said she couldn’t get there earlier because she worked.  She starts work at 10:30,only about 20 mins from the hospital and the hospital opened at 8am for maternity visitors.  I was so mad and hurt, I mean we aren’t close but other people had been there already who weren’t even relatives.  From then on in they decided they needed to come and visit several mornings a week, while I was at home trying to get used to having an infant.  They didn’t bring food or anything, they’d come and sit there.  They didn’t hold him.  They became annoying.  One morning we had a long night and I had just got him to sleep at like 8 or so and I drifted off to sleep and I was really out.  At this point in time we lived on the bottom floor of an apartment building.  The building was built in front of a steep hill with a little creek and there was a wooden fence around the back towards our deck.  Well I guess I didn’t hear them knocking or ringing the bell, because my mothers stupid husband thought it would be a good idea to run down the hill in the snow through a fence and pound and pound on my sliding glass door. I was sleeping on the sofa and I heard it and woke up half asleep and scared to death that someone was trying to break in because my husband was at work.  I was so pissed, I answered the “door” and he’s like we came to see the baby and you weren’t answering the door.  Take a hint, I was probably sleeping you know new mom with an infant less than 1 month old.  Then fast forward to baby #2.  I was really sick, with pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome.  I was moved from my hospital to one with a NICU.  I was scared, I couldn’t reach my husband at work so I called my grandmother, my grandmother was the one I shared all my pregnancy stories and updates with.  She tried to calm me down, I called my best friend and cried and cried.  Finally my husband was told to meet me at this hospital to where I was being moved.  People were calling, my friends were coming to see us.  I had the baby, she was really sick in the NICU for several weeks, I was still really sick.  My grandfather who was old and not doing well made the 100 mile round trip to see me and the baby.  I didn’t hear from my mom, until the day I was going to be discharged, because she couldn’t call me because it was long distance, at that point I told her not to bother coming.  So she never saw my 2nd child until she was almost 3 weeks old.  When I lived overseas, she also stopped calling me because it cost too much to call and decided to not send me cards/letters because that cost too much too.  Now mind you her husband is quite well off. I just don’t get it.  I don’t get parents who are not close and are not involved.  I don’t get parents who then get offended when you make other plans to spend the holidays with your friends.  What kind of grandmother doesn’t come to see the first born grandchild of their only child when they live 20 mins away?  I just don’t get it.  I would be fine if I never had to hang out with her and only heard from here from time to time, but because they have no life, they have decided that intruding on my life every weekend and just sitting here is what they are supposed to do.  They have never once suggested we go somewhere that the kids might like.  So yeah that might be why I don’t want to spend Thanksgiving with you.

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