I am not always after perfection.  My car is tidy (no clutter) but it’s full of crumbs and I never ever wipe the windows inside- which irritates my husband, so he eventually does it for me.  I don’t wrap my Christmas presents until the last minute, even though I shop almost all year long.  I have containers and organizers for closets and drawers, but things are not super folded or color coordinated.  My DVR list is always almost near full.  I love to re-arrange my furniture (something I inherited from my grandmother),last night I was bugging out a bit because I was stressing about forgetting something and I planned a whole course of action of furniture arrangement to calm myself down.  It meant I had to carry a futon myself up one flight of stairs today,but I was so happy when it was all done.  So while some things I’m a real stickler for, some other things not so much.  I don’t know what I’m trying to accomplish or announce to the world, with my obsession with order and perfection.  I don’t know why I love control or why I feel like I have to control it all. I am always so uptight and tense and nervous and wanting things to be ok, wanting to accomplish things and check items off my to do list. Why?  This is where I want to figure things out, so I can learn to let go.  Note the moments and the little things and it will all come into play as the big picture someday-that’s where I want to be.


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