When you grow up…

I read Tiger Mom and I thought it would be a great tool for me to be able to really set my kids on the right path. Instead it was just a book about how this mom spent way too much time on her kids music lessons- way way too much time.  So much for that, I didn’t have plans for my kids to be musical.  But I can tell you that since they were born, I’ve been thinking and planning their life careers, especially my first born.  I want him to be a doctor.  My husband and I were both professionals before children, I am now a mom and he is still a financial professional.

I really thought my child was going to be extremely gifted, I don’t know why I thought that, maybe all people do.  He is very bright, but I don’t think he will be a Doogie Howser.  My husband went to private school his whole life and then he went to a very exclusive boarding school for high school.  His whole life plan was for our kids to go to private school, but we haven’t crossed that bridge yet, because we have an excellent public school.  So in his mind, our children will follow his footsteps. In my mind that means, working on reading and math all summer. Doing plenty of extra-curricular activites (sports like swimming and tae kwon do) and community service at church. I figure the way to get into an excellent college and medical school is to do this back work, prep work. And I consider it one of my main jobs to secure that they are learning and doing all they can in order to achieve academic success.  I also think doctors are brilliant and serve in a way only they can.  I would have loved to be a doctor, if my life wasn’t in such turmoil growing up.  And yes that seems like I am living vicariously through my kids, but so be it.

I don’t want to be a crazy obsessive parent, but I feel like somehow it’s the only way to help them succeed.  My friends always tell me just be happy, let them be them and they will do what they love when they get older, but I really don’t want to invest so much time into getting them into a good school to have them major in something like creative dance or sports recreation management.

It’s crazy I know, people always say oh I want my kid to be a doctor or lawyer or whatever, but I really want them to never have to worry about finances. Sometimes money is tight in our lives and I don’t want them to ever be fenced in by money or for their children to be restricted.

Truth be told, I don’t think I could ever force them to be what I want, but that also doesn’t mean I can’t drop hints and try as I might to push them down the path I think would be great. Is that really wrong?


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