what next

I’m drawn to restore this year.The word seemed to speak to me. Right now I’m trying to draw something from it. I’m stuck in a place trying to make the next decision, to choose the next step. I hate change. I hate decisions. I really thought this was the year when I would grow and feel better and feel like I am fixing my self. I felt like I would be entering this next phase of my life and growing, but now I’m stuck with a big choice and a big decision. They say go with what’s in your heart and that you know the right choice and I think I do but I’m scared. I’m also upset that money and influence trumps the right thing to do. I feel hurt and right now there’s some crazy things in my life, no restore. I feel like my friends have been excluding me, my kids are out of control and now this thing with church, it’s just so much to try to figure out. I’m someone who likes to work things out and make progress that way, I can’t do this if I am stuck. I also feel overweight, out of shape and all those things. I hate being stuck in a rut, I’m back to daydreaming about moving somewhere far away with my husband and the kids….


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