Soul Shaking

Awhile back I read this blog post about asking yourself the soul shaking questions. I feel like I am in a rut and I really wanted to explore this. For a link to the blog be more with less see below. To see me explore my soul see the question & answers below. I have not included all the questions she listed, just the ones that worked for me.

Common questions we aren’t asking enough:

  • Why am I in debt? I am constantly having this discussion with my husband.He has taken over the bills and is getting us on track. But why do we have debt? Simple answer we have kids. I left a FT professional job 5 years ago to raise our children.So our income decreased and I was not as frugal as I am now. So now we are paying the price. But also sometimes I am lazy- we eat out because we don’t feel like cooking and we might want a change of locale. I also buy things when I feel down,like why can’t I have this? We have jobs, everybody else buys stuff, etc.It’s not right but it’s what happens sometimes in life to real people, who can’t just stay straight line when it comes to spending. But when I make good choices or don’t spend, I notice my attitude shoots up and I feel good about it, I need to focus more on that feeling.
  • Why am I unhappy? I sometimes feel like life happens for everyone else or other people have a more important life. I am a mom. When you are a mom, no one thinks you are fantastic. I miss the days of thinking and making decisions at work, of feeling important. Most days I just clean and pick up after everyone. I want to be able to write more and have some down time for me that is not at 2am when everyone else is in bed. I miss me, I used to have fun and outlets and be creative,but it is draining to have a pre-schooler. I know I have a nice life and I am very blessed, but somedays just seem like the same thing over and over, lots of work and no recognition.
  • Why don’t I exercise regularly?Because if I go for a walk, I need to take my pre-schooler and she will complain the whole time and I’ll need to take the dog or he will whine and cry and bark as we leave. We could go at night as a family but then the kid have activities and homework. I could go to the gym and take my kid with to child care, but I don’t like leaving my child with strangers. My time is not my time.
  • Why am I tired?I am tired because I stay up too late, I eat too much sugar and I don’t exercise. I just don’t take care of me, because I am taking care of everyone else.
  • Why am I fat?No exercise, poor choice in foods, lack of motivation. It’s easier to sulk and eat junk then to get up and get moving.
  • Why did I settle? I don’t think I settled. I mean it’s not like I had lofty goals. Maybe way back in the day, I settled in school and did not pursue science more because I was a girl.Maybe I could have been a physcian, but it wasn’t like that was my goal.Maybe I settled in life because I am a girl without a huge drive for one thing in life. I love being a mom, I love my time to volunteer and be active in church. I love my family. I have plans to change careers and complete my masters when the kids are all in school all day long. I also want to write a book, but I do kind of put my goals on the back burner to make sure everyone else is happy.
  • Why do I put up with that?I put up with it because I don’t have a choice. This is where I am in life. My kids are little and need my help. My husband works to provide for all of us. I don’t have time to exercise, I don’t have the time or money to go back to school yet and I don’t even get to get ready in the morning without my kids hovering about, so I never get any writing time. It’s where I am. I also let myself get jealous over what other people do and have going on in their lives. I don’t know why,maybe because my parents weren’t very good role models and didn’t bother me, I just always put everyone and everything before me in life.
  • What has to change? Time. I need to sleep earlier, eat better and fit in time to walk and write and take time for me. I just need to do it and stick to it and things will get easier.

That was fun. I feel like I learned more about me, it felt good. My soul has been shaken and stirred. You should try it.


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