Baby in the NICU mommy on the maternity ward

Today I wanted to share my experience of having a child on the NICU while I was smack dab in the middle of the regular maternity ward. I was in the hospital longer than a normal pregnancy because I had severe pre-eclampsia and they could not get my pressure down. But the whole time I was on the maternity ward. I would be laying in my room at crying my eyes out because my baby was somewhere in the hospital NICU, fighting and I still had not held her or met her and there were the sounds of babies crying and babies being wheeled by, my heart ached. I could not believe they could not find me a room somewhere else. I guess their thought was it was maternity related so I should be there, but I had no baby to ask the nurses questions about, I didn’t need to worry about not “latching on”, I did not have the normal post delivery needs. So there I stayed for ten days, watching the sun rise each morning, looking forward to the twice daily snack cart girl and wishing I could have my baby in my room. It also crossed my mind, that while I had a baby who was up in the NICU, there could be moms, who miscarried, who had serious medical issues and couldn’t carry the baby,moms whose babies were born stillborn, moms giving their baby up for adoption and I was assuming there we all were, stuck on the maternity ward with new happy moms and babies. I understand there are more births than anything else on the floor, but it hearts and it cuts to the core when everyone around you is experiencing something you long for with all your heart. The other thing that bothered me was that every nurse basically ignored me, I saw more doctors than nurses, and I would always be red eyed and weepy and it was like they didn’t want to talk to me about my baby in the NICU. One day I finally had a hard core nurse, who sat with me and talked about my fears and worries and my baby and she is the first one who offered to wheel me to the NICU to see her, she is the one who basically told me to get it together and be strong for my child, to not focus on the negative. She was amazing. She helped me to not be wallowing as much in my own pity.  The whole time though, even after I told them I had post-partum with my 1st normal delivery, healthy baby and after my husband called the nurses and said I was a little more than sad and wanted someone to come and talk to me, no one ever talked to me about postpartum, it wasn’t until months later my GP actually got me on some medicine.  I was very pleased with my doctors and the NICU nurses, but I was so not happy with the maternity nurses and how they dealt with me, I felt like a forgotten person, because I didn’t have a baby in my room with me, and I feel like I needed support more than the moms who had their babies.

This is just my experience and I hope and pray it’s not like this for all moms with NICU babies.


About this entry