I just finished watching this weeks Call the Midwife. There was a mom who lost her premature baby and who eventually passed herself after being in a coma. She succumbed to eclampsia. I was sitting here, holding in the tears, my whole body quivering. This was in the early 50’s late 40’s. They were aware of pre-eclampsia or toxemia.They could treat it if it was caught in time,but most times the babies did not make it.
I was thinking how blessed I am.How blessed I am because even though I had read at most 1 page on the condition during both of my pregnancies and missed all my symptoms, my doctor was there and caught it. My doctor who sent me straight to the hospital. My doctor who transferred me to a hospital with a NICU, My doctor who saved me and my baby. It’s hard to imagine. Here’s a person, who is medically trained and very smart, and in a few hours time changed my life. I actually had two doctors and they both split my time because of shift changes. If my doctors had not been born with the gift of care,compassion and knowledge, if God had not placed me where he has in life, if I did not have insurance and proper pre-natal care, if I was not fortunate enough to live within an hours driving of some of the best childrens hospitals and NICU’s in the US, all these ifs and that’s why I cry. I don’t think I will ever not cry when hearing those words pre-eclampsia. I think that is something that scares you and makes you think and makes your realize life is precious. My mother in law, lost one of her twins to toxemia. My brother in law was a twin. She and I don’t always have a lot in common,and she’s not usually an overly compassionate person, but she was the only person I know who had gone through something like this, and she lost her child. I can’t even begin to imagine. I am still hurting and my child is four years old. It was a scary place and time in my life, for several years after. You ask why me, you feel alone, you feel different. But you get past that, you do, but it takes time and it takes heart wrenching experiences to get you there. I thank God again that my life is in this time in history, because not even 40 years ago, women still had a greater chance of not making it and babies even more so.


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