i’m changing it


My parents sucked. There’s no other way to put it. My parents were alcoholics, who basically let me grandparents adopt me because they couldn’t be parents and because they chose themselves over me. My in-laws were similar but the upper class version, who had nannies and boarding school instead of the grandparents. So that was it for my husband and I. I was lucky to have an aunt, who took me on vacation and road trips, who had a camera and documented my childhood, who loved sports and coached for my teams. Who basically did what parents are supposed to do. She never had kids and then did the same thing 12 years later for my brother when my dad remarried.
I can say I used to dream about picket fences. I wanted to be one of those tv kids so bad, I wanted a cute house with mom, dad, a dog, a garden and a picket fence. I wanted proper vacations and family activities like gift wrapping and baking cookies. I wanted my best friends life. I loved being at her house. The carpet was lush and fluffy, she had her own room with two beds, just because they matched. They drove to visit her grandparents in another state. Her kitchen had an island and they had a fancy living room where no one ever sat.And her mom was there for everything. Don’t get me wrong, my dysfunctional family did ok. I traveled, I had nice clothes and things, but never a fancy house, I didn’t even have a bedroom until I moved in with my grandparents. I used to have a couch.
When my kids came along, I made a decision to give them all the experiences I wanted. We’ve done vacations, road trips, museums, re-enactments, farms, apple picking, outdoor adventures, sports, family walks, cookie baking,petting zoos, cultural affairs- you name it we do it. I am also lucky to work part time because my husband and I still want the kids to be number one and for me to have an available schedule. I take them to church and Sunday School, I volunteer at school, I sit down and read with them every day. And I still have my aunt around, she’s my go to babysitter and the kids love her as much as I did. Sometimes I think wow, people on Facebook, must think we are crazy or that we do too much, but I want my kids to have a pleasant childhood and to be open to all sorts of new things. I also scrapbook and keep journals for them and yes it is a lot, but you know what, no one ever did that for me and I would have loved it, for someone to say hey guess what, your life does mean something to us. So that’s how I am trying to make a different path for future generations. I want my grand kids and great grands to know that they are important and to create loving caring kids to pass that on to them.

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