What I know for sure Preemie

Tomorrow is the last day of November, a month we all give thanks and look forward to time with friends and families in the coming weeks. A season where it feels like we should be slowing down, but doesn’t always happen. November is also Prematurity Awareness month. I started my blog over four years ago, because I was bored and wanted to have a journal of my days. Then I stopped, I didn’t know what I wanted to say or where I wanted to go. Then I had a premature baby. My life was all over the place. I didn’t have anyone to talk to about my life and my preemie, and after the first year or so I decided I should blog about it. I should blog about what helped me, what was hard, how to look for pre-eclampsia signs (which is what I had), how to deal with milestones or lack of. I decided even if one person in the whole world saw it and felt a little better, or thought they would get through this, than good, because I would have liked to have had that.

I used to want to pinpoint the things I did wrong, to cause my baby to be born early, but it wasn’t me. It was pre-eclampsia, it was my body. It wasn’t my diet or exercise (more like lack of), it wasn’t from working when pregnant and not cutting back. It was just my body and how this pregnancy was meant to be. I can say that now, but it took me years to realize I could not have prevented this, but I was blessed is so many ways from my talented doctor who caught it early, to having a level III NICU where we could be transferred, to the top doctor who delivered me at that hospital and took care of me, and of course the NICU staff who cared for my baby. It’s sad that this disease is not commonly known, so that people have to wonder how they caused it, it’s not like having a broken ankle and not taking enough time to rest it and realizing you might be the reason it didn’t heal enough and why you have pain from time to time. It’s not like having high blood pressure and not reducing your salty food intake and exercising, if your doctor thinks that would help. This is something that happens and that’s your hand that you are dealt.

I have learned so much. I learned that my husband and I were pushed to the edge with stress and worry and we got through it. I learned how heartbreaking it is to have a child in the hospital and not with you. I learned a whole lot about early interventions and special needs, that I never thought I would known. I learned each child is a gift and every child is different, but they all do well with love. I learned how to rely on prayer when I am stuck and there is nothing humanly possible I can do. I sort of learned to not be so much of a control freak, but I still am to a point. I learned that some babies don’t make milestones, and in my case my preemie caught up when would have been her full term time table. You learn a lot about yourself when you have a preemie and I am thankful for what I have and where my life is.

So I wanted to end the month of prematurity awareness with these thoughts. There more people who know about premature babies the better, because there are more out there than you would think and my story is just one of many. Check out http://www.marchofdimes.com for more information and for more stories.


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