From Urban Dictionary: Micromanage 64 up, 11 down
Paying attention to things that don’t really matter, to manage or control with excessive attention to minor details.
You know how things slap you in the face, when you don’t want them to or don’t expect them to? Well for some reason micro-manage jumped up and slapped my upside the head the other night. I have worked for many micro-managers in my time and it stinks. Since I am no longer in the corporate world, I got to thinking about how I micro-manage my life. I tried to look up info on micro-managing your life, and there’s not much, it’s mainly a term used for the office. That was kind of frustrating. I don’t micro-manage the family, just myself. I have some many little tiny details, I leave nothing to chance. I plan way out and for a long time I was smug, thinking of look at me, I am such an excellent planner and I am so organized. How can people just decide to do something one day, with no thought or planning, how can people remember everything they cleaned or need to clean. Things like that. And people would say, oh you are so organized, or she always has her calendar, I need to do that. But like a snowball turning into an avalanche, the more I do this micro planning, the worse it becomes. Now I have an iphone and I am writing things on my reminders to remember 6 years from now, and even to write that sounds ridiculous, but it gives me a sense of control which in turn gives me a sense of calm.
Growing up my life was chaotic. When I still lived with my parents, it was semi-hoarders esque in our apartment and my parents never kept on top of me or homework. I started managing that all myself, my PARP calendars, permission slips. I organized them and knew when they were due. I was a model student for organization and being helpful to the teachers, because I never wanted them to know how crazy my home life was. But it was a small town and I am sure they did. When I got to my grandparents it was so clean you could eat off the floor. My grandmother would ask me each night about homework and that was nice. But I have always had a sense of being the responsible one, in college, in high school amongst friends and family now, with holidays and get togethers, people rely on me. I am the DD and was in college. I am the one to volunteer to do tasks at church no one else wants to do.
And then I come home and fill out my reminders with so much detail. Detail so I don’t miss a beat and when I do or when something is not updated properly, I get so upset. I literally get sad about it and try to remember what I was thinking or how I messed up and I don’t let myself off the hook. It’s an annoying awful way to be. And I’ve been asking myself why? What difference does it make if I miss some Sunday School craft I had planned that no one else in the world was expecting, what difference does it make if I don’t write down scrapbooking ideas and a time frame, will I forget that I love to scrapbook and never do it again? It’s a love hate relationship and it’s something hard to let go of and hard to change. It’s also right down the middle on blogs, some people like me are super organized and micro manage and are happy and proud to do so and then others are posting about living more free and not being tied down to schedules and such. I just want a happy medium and I am trying so hard to let myself off the hook and not be so uptight and stick to my schedule, but this will be a battle, because I have been living by a written regimented routine, since high school (or so my friends tell me, I don’t remember it back then). This is one of my main goals this year, to experience the day to day living, not the day to day planning and checking things off my to do list.
I want to do this as much for me as I want to do this for my kids, I don’t want them having to rely on me to remind them of their library books being due, etc. and I don’t want them to grow up relying on a calendar and reminder notes, so they know what they are doing in life and when.
My tip for dealing with micro-managing when I get overwhelmed; read or watch tv. Get sucked into something like Downton Abbey, make a craft with your kids, look out the window at the birds- anything but sitting there ruminating over your schedule.