It’s Ash Wednesday, the start of another season of Lent and I prepare for Lent I can’t think of anything to give up. I want something impactful to draw my relationship with God closer to God, I want something that I will have to struggle with giving up. And I still don’t have any idea, because I struggle with so much.
Lately I’ve been simplifying my blog feeds. I was getting almost 70 blog feeds a day. I decided I wanted to just read those that inspired me to be a better me and a better mom. I love craft and decorating blogs, but I can get them on Facebook pages. Plus I think when you read these perfect blogs, you start to find fault with yourself and your mothering and your not perfect home. I can’t fathom how you can be an interactive mom, if you are making paintings and refinishing furniture and re-decorating and making crafts for all 3 of your childrens classes. I just don’t get it. I have days when I clean what I have to and just hang out with the kids, because I just want time with them. I want to be more intentional. I don’t want to spend my day online looking at blogs, I want to be able to read and be with my kids. I want to experience life.
I’ve also been trying to stop being a micro manager of my life. I need to delegate to my family and not do it all. I want to not rely so much on my to do list and more on my prayer and God’s direction. Maybe that’s what I need to give up. I need to stop double checking myself and worrying about forgetting stuff and I need to pray for help when I get stuck, because this mega controlling life is not a fun way to live.