pre-eclampsia 5 years later

Almost five years ago I had pre-eclampsia and it still haunts me every day. My blood pressure has been slowly rising up over the past year or so to the point where I will be back on meds, after I worked hard to lose weight and get it low a few years back.
Because of pre-eclampsia my baby was born pre-maturely and has some developmental delays and other sensory issues from being born to soon.
Today I was thinking back to my experience with pre-eclampsia and how it has changed my life. It was during my second pregnancy. In my first I had gestational diabetes. I am the only one of my friends that had these two issues. I am the only one of my friends who has to go to the doctor every few months to check my pressure, who has to watch my foods I eat, who takes meds on a daily basis. And today it got to me. I wondered why, I will admit I was jealous, I will also admit, that it scares me. It scares me because I do not want to have a stroke. It scares me because my health is in jeopardy. It scares me because I have two kids I love so much that need a mama. It bothers me that my husband does not take my conditions more seriously, he just says I thought you had your pressure under control or you need to exercise.
I want to be active and eat properly and not give into food temptation but I do not have strong willpower.
You might walk out of the hospital not being pre-eclampsic but it never really leaves you. It sets you up for a whole other mess of issues as you get older and it scares me to no end. People don’t speak about it enough, and people don’t know enough about it. It doesn’t get the information outpour as other conditions do and not as many people get it in the general population, but it is scary and here I am five years later feeling as isolated as I was all those years ago when I finally realized how scary it was to have had pre-eclampsia in the first place.


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