Confidence


How do you teach confidence? Is confidence something you are born with? For the past 5 years we have been sending our oldest to tae kwon do. He was a bit hyper when he was younger and not too responsive to mom and dad advising to clean up your toys, so we thought tae kwon do might help him along. It worked wonders for responsiveness and for him to take care of him things and have ownership, but I don’t know that it’s built up his confidence. He is sensitive and reminds me very much of myself sometimes. Unlike me he lives for the moment and does not put much thought into what comes next. All these things are fine because he’s still just a kid, but he is never sure of himself- other than in school, where he has the confidence of a million.
But as a mom I worry, I worry that if someone tried to hurt him or talk him into something he wouldn’t stand up for himself. His defense mechanism when he doesn’t want to do something or when he gets frustrated is to cry. Tonight my husband asked him to come in from playing and get ready for his lesson. So he came in for about half a second, complained his leg hurt three times (which I knew was a lead up to I can’t go tonight, even though there is a tournament this weekend- his first tournament at that) and then vanished outside again. My husband asked where he was and I said I have no idea, so he comes in again for a second time and this time he just cries, cries and says I’m tired. So after leaving him be in his room for ten minutes he comes down ready to go. I wish he would just communicate or even just talk back once and say what he is feeling but instead he loses it. He loses it because his little sister who is a fireball and loves him so much gets excited when he comes home from school because she missed him, so he cries. He cries when she takes a goldfish cracker from the bag if he’s holding it. He cries when she looks at him in the car and just starts laughing because she’s happy. It’s just so much crying all the time. I don’t know maybe all 8 year old boys just cry. I just worry about bullies because you can not go out into school in this day and age and have such a thin skin. I told him the bullies will eat you alive. I don’t mean to sound hard, but I just get so frustrated by his communication skills sometimes.

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