it is a silent killer


5 years ago today I was sitting here with pre-eclampsia, I didn’t know it though. I was so swollen and only 7 months pregnant. I’d been to the doctor but the 20 plus pound weight gain in 2 weeks was referred to as weight gain from the heat by the nurse practioner. I had no idea what the next two weeks would bring. I was probably thinking of the last things I had to do for the nursery or some of the clothes I still needed to buy. I was thinking about vacation coming up over the holiday and a picnic or two. I was tired, couldn’t breathe properly, kept feeling like I was drowning when I laid down to sleep, I was swollen and had pain in my abdomen, but it was my second pregnancy, it was so hot out and I thought this is just aches and pains, no big deal. In two weeks my life would never be the same. I’d be the mother of a preemie, I would be fighting for over a month and a half to get my pressure down, with various meds. I’d be driving home from the hospital while my baby stayed in the NICU. I would cry and fight with my husband, I would be depressed, I would block out my friends, because they had healthy babies and healthy pregnancies. I didn’t know up from down. I didn’t want to eat, only snickers bars and iced tea. I wanted the days to pass and my baby to be home. It was crazy, and looking back I’m glad that we got through it, because I remember the desperation that I felt. It was when I was first admitted to the hospital before I was moved to the city to deliver in a hospital with a world class NICU, that someone, maybe my doctor would refer to blood pressure as the silent killer. I heard that so many times before and never thought of it. I had symptoms, but they weren’t severe-no headaches or anything like that, what I felt seemed to me just run of the mill being pregnant feelings. I blog about preemies and pre-eclampsia because I have the hope that if one person can read something and be more aware than I was, than that is an amazing thing, because pre-eclampsia is the hardest thing I have ever gone through.

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